Saturday, September 20, 2014

count your blessings

I don't know how to express myself. Actually, I don't know how to do or be a lot of things, and I really wish I did. I don't know how to be a good friend/sister/daughter/sensitive and a lot of other things which if I listed down would probably sink me into a deeper bout of depression.

Life has been horrible so far, but there are the tiny blessings along the way that make it less horrible.

and...I should probably continue this after finishing another math practice paper

well, let's add math to the list of things I can't do now, shall we? haha okay I'm kidding. I actually had a really long break between when I stopped to "do my math paper". A whole day of break, actually...haha but I did get that math paper done!!! :-)

anyway, back to what this post was originally about.

Actually, I wasn't very sure what I had in mind when I clicked on "New Post". I guess I was feeling really down and needed an outlet to vent my feelings. But since I've cheered up since then, why bring back the negativity?!?!? Instead, I've decided to make a list of things to be thankful for, to remind myself to always always remain grateful for whatever I have, and not feel so down whenever I'm feeling...down haha (for lack of a better word)

1. GOD!!! I always manage to find peace and comfort in Him, by praying, reading the Bible or just singing worship songs haha so yes, I'm thankful for a God who loves and cares for me.

2. Family - though they really make me mad and annoyed (hello Bin this is for you HAHA) at times, I'm thankful for them because they work hard (not just literal, "bringing home the bacon" kind of work) to raise me to be a decent person (of which I have yet to become) ((sadly))

3. Hansol!!! Even though we don't meet regularly and hardly text, I know she's got my back. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. She's my best friend and I am so so blessed to be hers' too. :-)

4. 15S03H! I'm only closer to a few people in class but I'm really glad that even though we may have small cliques in class, we are generally really chill and quite an accepting bunch :-) I'm sorry I keep burping in class, I think quite a few of you actually do really mind...I'll try to tone it down, I promise!

5. RSBatch 2015!!! Again, I'm only closer to a few, but I do feel very comfortable around you guys. :-) I guess being a small batch has its perks...in a way. I can't wait for band to resume so I can see you guys more often!!! Haha, sometimes I do feel a tinge of sadness that we only see one another twice a week, and the nature of Band makes it very hard for us to actually bond during CCA hours, so if we want to chill more, we have to actually set apart time for it outside of CCA and everyone knows it's always a hassle to organise things, so...but nonetheless, I am thankful for my RSBatch because I've made amazing friends there!

6. Health: I think I do take my health for granted because I constantly abuse it, eating sore-throat inducing foods like there is no tomorrow, not exercising for days on end, skipping meals here and there etc.! I recently came down with a really terrible fever/headache/Idek what it was (probably stress-induced lol) and that made me realise how I've actually taken my (well, relatively) good health for granted.

well this list is definitely not exhaustive and I guess I will update this whenever I'm feeling down so it'll cheer me up. (also because I really need to be doing work now sigh)

Till then!

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